At the Bar

Despite getting called into work on my day off yesterday I felt enthusiastic about doing something.  Actually, I was about down for almost anything that required some form of social interaction that didn't happen in my apartment.  So, lo and behold, when I get a text from a friend asking if I wanted to hit my favorite little bar in town there was no way I was going to refuse. 

I dolled myself up again for the second time - because I'm just into getting gussied up going out anyway - put on the outfit I had been wearing before work and my thigh highs and called it good. 

Driver is Blue, driver's passenger is Cripple (he broke his leg recently and I just like making mean and insensitive jokes).  On the way to the bar we are picking up Blondie and meet the GreenLantern.  Yay for code names.  I've met the GreenLantern many times at Blondie's parties but we're not friends and I'm not too terribly fond of Blondie when it comes to drinking.  Oh well.  Starting off the night Cripple and I consume a glass of Guinness (which I normally hate) and I take a good deal of time wondering why I am here with this particular crew.  Oh well, GreenLantern saves us some guesswork and we start playing Black Jack.  During this game I've learned Blue and Cripple have never had an Irish Car Bomb.  That's unforgivable.  With what little I can spare I order three for us and this somehow starts off a Car Bomb fetish around the bar.  Now the stage is set after Blondie orders a car bomb with GreenLantern and has only consumed a fourth, if that, of her Woodchuck.  The car bomb is more than enough to get her drunk.

Two things of real interest (for me anyway) happened:

1) Blondie can't really handle her liquor.  That's fine in my opinion considering she doesn't like the taste of alcohol so all her drinks are pretty much whatever the nonalcoholic mixer is.  But she drinks regardless and can be sometimes really annoying.  Yesterday was National Pancake Day and earlier she had wanted to go out to a local restaurant that was 24 hours and get some pancakes.  I'm more partial to waffles and more importantly, broke, and everyone else had turned down her little adventure.  Once she's figured out that she's not getting pancakes she starts pouting.  Hardcore.  Eventually she lays face down across three bar stools and moping about "not drunk" mind you I notice some friends trying to balance some things on her butt.  I can do better.
     I take the deck of cards and start laying them one by one down her spine and across her butt and give up when they start falling as I am laying them on the back of her thighs.  In that moment I spot her water cup.  Sucking up some water through the straw, I pulled a finger over and position myself for optimal targeting.  After debating for a few seconds I release my tiny waterfall of ice cold delicious agua into her ear.  Direct hit!  Immediately she voices her displeasure, cursing.  Granted it's not the nicest thing to do but I've been enabled by the fact that she was pouting in my favorite bar and being obnoxious.  So how does she get back at me?  Weakly she wiggles herself from the stools, and falls on me - this is made even more obvious by the way she's holding onto me and feeling me up.  Limply she lifts her leg and knees me in the ass.  "There!" she says.  It didn't really hurt but dear lord, it was kind of funny to watch her try and get back at me.  If you ask me, revenge exacted.

2)  Some guy comes in, a stand-up comedian I've never heard of.  Whatever.  He's pretty drunk and I'm pretty friendly.  I put my arm around his shoulder and enlist his help making fun of Blondie, teasingly.  We're not being mean by any means, we're just joking when he makes some statement and sort of feels up my crotch.  Awkward.  I brush it off because he's drunk and he's not in the mood to make good decision anyway.  Finally when we decide it's finally time to go he make a motion to me to kiss him on the cheek.  In my head I'm not terribly concerned and it's always been a sign of friendship and good meaning so I lean in to kiss him on the cheek. 
    Now, I've heard fortune favors the bold.  This was not one of those times.  As soon as I lean in to kiss his cheek he turns his face and grabs my face and does his best to force me to kiss him.  Hell no.  That's not happening.  Sure I'm an idiot, and extremely naive but don't lure me in like that.  Dodging his kiss I bid him goodnight and walk out the door followed by his statement, "Aw, see, we could have had an even better time".  To be honest, I'm not sure how many people are fond of this kind of physical interaction with people they just met.
     This probably freaked me out more than I'd like to admit.  Mostly because if I pull away, very obviously pull away, don't try to force it two or three more times.  And well that's never happened to me. 

Case in point, be mindful of the drunk people.