Before I get to bed I'll write myself a little note
Something every young adult had heard but doesn't know:
Get a handle on yourself. I oddly enjoy reading lots of articles on financial advice. They'll unfortunately come up every now and then well, because that's a powerful part of life. And money sort of governs my ability to acquire new games and play them.
Yeah it sucks but down the road, things will balance out again! Number one rule is be realistically positive. Hm. Actually I think I rather just focus on being positive right now.
27 February 2014
26 February 2014
Mundane
26.02.2014
21:32 The internet sucks in my apartment complex right now. In my unit only I seem to be able to grab it and my roommate is left frustrated. So, naturally, after he posted a complaint on Facebook I had to make my own update: "When the internet works for you but nor your roommate" and tagged him in it. Somehow I seem to be able to stream YouTube videos as well. This is a nice departure because I'm the only one in the living room and the sound of the filter in the lizard/frog tank was driving me up the wall mad.
I've been thinking lately that I hope I get my figure. I ordered one off of ebay quite some time ago but according to the delivery date it came when our mailbox was suspended. At the time my roommate had lost the key for about a month. In an effort to spare their supplies and save the one that I am now sure is completely lost in the mail I contacted the seller who is not concerned until May. Well, I tried, right?
15:32 Yes, we are going back in time! I was visiting with my friend Katherine and had a lovely time playing Mario Kart and Gauntlet. We talked of course and caught up. I'm glad I got to see her and just hang out with her today. I even did my make-up because I just enjoy the process of getting ready. I think my eye make-up turned out a lot better than usual.
Some nice things happened today. I can't decided if I want to play some games or not - I think I am a little played out to be honest. Or at least I am bored with Sleeping Dogs, Vesperia is still on the back burner, Awakening too, Abyss is too boring otherwise. Except for Jade, he's awesome. What other games can I add to the list? Maybe I'll try Dishonored tonight.
21:32 The internet sucks in my apartment complex right now. In my unit only I seem to be able to grab it and my roommate is left frustrated. So, naturally, after he posted a complaint on Facebook I had to make my own update: "When the internet works for you but nor your roommate" and tagged him in it. Somehow I seem to be able to stream YouTube videos as well. This is a nice departure because I'm the only one in the living room and the sound of the filter in the lizard/frog tank was driving me up the wall mad.
I've been thinking lately that I hope I get my figure. I ordered one off of ebay quite some time ago but according to the delivery date it came when our mailbox was suspended. At the time my roommate had lost the key for about a month. In an effort to spare their supplies and save the one that I am now sure is completely lost in the mail I contacted the seller who is not concerned until May. Well, I tried, right?
15:32 Yes, we are going back in time! I was visiting with my friend Katherine and had a lovely time playing Mario Kart and Gauntlet. We talked of course and caught up. I'm glad I got to see her and just hang out with her today. I even did my make-up because I just enjoy the process of getting ready. I think my eye make-up turned out a lot better than usual.
Some nice things happened today. I can't decided if I want to play some games or not - I think I am a little played out to be honest. Or at least I am bored with Sleeping Dogs, Vesperia is still on the back burner, Awakening too, Abyss is too boring otherwise. Except for Jade, he's awesome. What other games can I add to the list? Maybe I'll try Dishonored tonight.
25 February 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge - Final
Prompt: "Day 30 —Write a short entry that ends with the line, 'The silver dust of moonlight settled coldly on the night.'"
Naere collected herself on a nearby tree stump just off the Path. Just on the horizon she could see it - Winter's light softly falling from the sky. "Sebastian, look!" she managed just above a whisper. The downy snowflakes barely made an audible noise as they descended to the ground. "Aren't they beautiful?" Closing her eyes and refocusing her mind just beyond the steady stream of snow her senses touched the edge of Aria, the first in-between town. Taking in a deep breath Naere heard the noises of wood being cut to warm the households and people making lively talk and children laughing.
Sebastian's bark brought Naere back to her immediate surroundings. The autumnal wood with its golden leaves and scents of crisp apple blossoms maturing into fruit greeted her. Sebastian forced his head under her hands and beckoned her onward. "Yes, I suppose it is time, right?" With an encouraging bark he lifted Naere from the stump and onto the Path once more.
When they first entered the town Naere's heart grew weak with excitement. She steadied herself on Sebastian's firm back and he led her through town. The people kept on their business but those that saw her greeted her simply with a warm, "Hello!" or wave. "Sebastian it's so pretty here." Snow had piled onto their cabins' roofs and the icicles that had formed were long and beautiful. Standing tall Naere reached and slapped one down delighting in the noise it made. Like a soft chime. Then another. And another until she had her fun when a smiling old woman approached.
"You must be a Child of Ascension," she said with knowledge. "I've been waiting for you to arrive. Come, I shall show you the Shrine of Winter we house in our town." Naere patted her thigh to gesture Sebastian to follow which he did so eagerly. Licking her hand he trotted along happily. The shrine was simple and small and comfortable. "I am excited to see what your prayers will bring our village." Naere nodded and thanked the old woman for her time. As soon as she scooted out the door Sebastian came in and sniffed around.
"It's cute, isn't it?" A large snowflake had been arrayed, woven together from the flakes that had first full moon of the year. Or so the stories had been told. Upon closer inspection each one was perfectly preserved. "What holds you together?" It looked like ice. Aside from this grand snowflake there were no other decorations to behold. "We should cleanse ourselves before we offer our prayers, right Sebastian?"
Returning when the sun hung low in the sky, Naere thought about what it was that she would pray for. It made her nervous that she hadn't thought of anything solid before hand and she tried to keep what her father had said in mind: "You'll know when the time comes." What a terribly vague statement.
Taking a deep breath Naere cleared her mind and focused gently on the majestic snowflake before her. Releasing her breath she noted the care with which had been handled and thanked Haven she was not here to witness it in person. "Beloved am I who sits upon this frozen floor hallowed by your presence, Great Arbiter of Frost. I offer my name Naere and lay down my soul, mind and body for Resurrection." A soft nipping at her skin awakened her to the presence of a spirit. "I speak my claim as a chosen Child of Ascension: I wish for deliverance from my ignorant mind." She wasn't exactly sure what she meant by that but in her heart she dreamed of adventure and so many thoughts poured from her mind.
When Naere opened her eyes a full moon's breath greeted her. Taking it in herself she felt the cold touch her lungs, not unpleasant. Exhaling she saw white ring surround and pale the village, her breath the silver dust of moonlight settling coldly on the night.
Finally done. I am finally letting this post be public because I'm going crazy trying to rewrite it many many times. DONE. I might keep this for future use though.
Naere collected herself on a nearby tree stump just off the Path. Just on the horizon she could see it - Winter's light softly falling from the sky. "Sebastian, look!" she managed just above a whisper. The downy snowflakes barely made an audible noise as they descended to the ground. "Aren't they beautiful?" Closing her eyes and refocusing her mind just beyond the steady stream of snow her senses touched the edge of Aria, the first in-between town. Taking in a deep breath Naere heard the noises of wood being cut to warm the households and people making lively talk and children laughing.
Sebastian's bark brought Naere back to her immediate surroundings. The autumnal wood with its golden leaves and scents of crisp apple blossoms maturing into fruit greeted her. Sebastian forced his head under her hands and beckoned her onward. "Yes, I suppose it is time, right?" With an encouraging bark he lifted Naere from the stump and onto the Path once more.
When they first entered the town Naere's heart grew weak with excitement. She steadied herself on Sebastian's firm back and he led her through town. The people kept on their business but those that saw her greeted her simply with a warm, "Hello!" or wave. "Sebastian it's so pretty here." Snow had piled onto their cabins' roofs and the icicles that had formed were long and beautiful. Standing tall Naere reached and slapped one down delighting in the noise it made. Like a soft chime. Then another. And another until she had her fun when a smiling old woman approached.
"You must be a Child of Ascension," she said with knowledge. "I've been waiting for you to arrive. Come, I shall show you the Shrine of Winter we house in our town." Naere patted her thigh to gesture Sebastian to follow which he did so eagerly. Licking her hand he trotted along happily. The shrine was simple and small and comfortable. "I am excited to see what your prayers will bring our village." Naere nodded and thanked the old woman for her time. As soon as she scooted out the door Sebastian came in and sniffed around.
"It's cute, isn't it?" A large snowflake had been arrayed, woven together from the flakes that had first full moon of the year. Or so the stories had been told. Upon closer inspection each one was perfectly preserved. "What holds you together?" It looked like ice. Aside from this grand snowflake there were no other decorations to behold. "We should cleanse ourselves before we offer our prayers, right Sebastian?"
Returning when the sun hung low in the sky, Naere thought about what it was that she would pray for. It made her nervous that she hadn't thought of anything solid before hand and she tried to keep what her father had said in mind: "You'll know when the time comes." What a terribly vague statement.
Taking a deep breath Naere cleared her mind and focused gently on the majestic snowflake before her. Releasing her breath she noted the care with which had been handled and thanked Haven she was not here to witness it in person. "Beloved am I who sits upon this frozen floor hallowed by your presence, Great Arbiter of Frost. I offer my name Naere and lay down my soul, mind and body for Resurrection." A soft nipping at her skin awakened her to the presence of a spirit. "I speak my claim as a chosen Child of Ascension: I wish for deliverance from my ignorant mind." She wasn't exactly sure what she meant by that but in her heart she dreamed of adventure and so many thoughts poured from her mind.
When Naere opened her eyes a full moon's breath greeted her. Taking it in herself she felt the cold touch her lungs, not unpleasant. Exhaling she saw white ring surround and pale the village, her breath the silver dust of moonlight settling coldly on the night.
Finally done. I am finally letting this post be public because I'm going crazy trying to rewrite it many many times. DONE. I might keep this for future use though.
Masculine...?
Recently my roommate told me one of our mutual friends said something along the lines of if I "got a sex-change, I would be okay with that" - (which is amazing) - "I think she would fit in better with guys". This sparked some introspection.
Lately I've been exploring my masculine side these past few weeks. Since I've been surrounded by my male friends I've noticed that I really haven't expressed my feminine side. Not much of a desire to. What I believe most unsettles me however is when I pressed the friend who had made the above comment (though not in malice) with "Wait, do you think I'm super masculine for a girl?" Alone it hadn't bothered me as much. When coupled with some of the other comments he had made though (mostly about a list of reasons I'm am and going to be alone) it made think about my behaviors. Truly I should keep in mind he is always much more an ass when he's been on Creatine (yay for the short break we all had).
Despite everything I am attracted to rather masculine and powerful men. Hence being told that I am so masculine made me wonder if part of the reason I am so alone (besides actually choosing to) is that I might intimidate other guys because I emasculate them? My most beloved companion told me something that made me feel better though: "Those are just reasons that that person wouldn't date you. Forget them, you're awesome" and some other lovely things that helped me change back my perspective, make it more positive. It sits in my mind a little still but not as much.
I'm glad to be the person I am. Even if I have my failings in faith in my person.
Lately I've been exploring my masculine side these past few weeks. Since I've been surrounded by my male friends I've noticed that I really haven't expressed my feminine side. Not much of a desire to. What I believe most unsettles me however is when I pressed the friend who had made the above comment (though not in malice) with "Wait, do you think I'm super masculine for a girl?" Alone it hadn't bothered me as much. When coupled with some of the other comments he had made though (mostly about a list of reasons I'm am and going to be alone) it made think about my behaviors. Truly I should keep in mind he is always much more an ass when he's been on Creatine (yay for the short break we all had).
Despite everything I am attracted to rather masculine and powerful men. Hence being told that I am so masculine made me wonder if part of the reason I am so alone (besides actually choosing to) is that I might intimidate other guys because I emasculate them? My most beloved companion told me something that made me feel better though: "Those are just reasons that that person wouldn't date you. Forget them, you're awesome" and some other lovely things that helped me change back my perspective, make it more positive. It sits in my mind a little still but not as much.
I'm glad to be the person I am. Even if I have my failings in faith in my person.
23 February 2014
The Lollipop
When I was young and after a fateful Halloween I dumped my collection bag and found one of the greatest treasures of all - a gummi shaped Yoshi lollipop! Instantly I hid it with childish fever, overjoyed to add yet another gem to my growing collection of love. In my young mind I rationalized that since I so loved Yoshi I couldn't eat it. That would be disrespectful and at the same time I should simply admire it from afar. Or from underneath my pillow where I kept it safely until I went to bed when I would set it beside me. It was the closest thing I had to a plushie.
I wish I could say that I still have that particular lollipop but... after about a week or so (or really some amount of time) my dad had found it and ATE it thinking that I didn't want it. Needless to say I was super heartbroken.
I wish I could say that I still have that particular lollipop but... after about a week or so (or really some amount of time) my dad had found it and ATE it thinking that I didn't want it. Needless to say I was super heartbroken.
19 February 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Twenty-Nine
Prompt: "Day 29 —You are at a cemetery reading gravestones. Write about one of the people you find."
Thank goodness this is almost over.
Mr. Paul Haight. Strange name to say the least but a sad case nonetheless. His gravestone was simple, nothing fancy like the ones around it and simply read, "Mr. Paul Haight 1983 - 1998". Doing the math he was about fifteen? Ten years from '83 made it '93 which he should have been 10... Then there are... eight minus 3... five years and five plus ten was fifteen. Give or take one year depending on the day he died. Wow. He was fifteen. When I was that age I just discovered friends, good food, how to actually dress like you care and other things. My life was just beginning, a lot of people's lives were, are beginning. And yet he's already gone? My mind wandered - how had he died? The cause hadn't been listed which lead me to think that no one had actually cared how or that it was a terminal illness or some tragic accident.
I wonder if he was an all right guy...
In this case, it would be best not to assume too much about the dead, you know? They've moved on to another life that is hopefully better lest their karma chase them.
Thank goodness this is almost over.
Mr. Paul Haight. Strange name to say the least but a sad case nonetheless. His gravestone was simple, nothing fancy like the ones around it and simply read, "Mr. Paul Haight 1983 - 1998". Doing the math he was about fifteen? Ten years from '83 made it '93 which he should have been 10... Then there are... eight minus 3... five years and five plus ten was fifteen. Give or take one year depending on the day he died. Wow. He was fifteen. When I was that age I just discovered friends, good food, how to actually dress like you care and other things. My life was just beginning, a lot of people's lives were, are beginning. And yet he's already gone? My mind wandered - how had he died? The cause hadn't been listed which lead me to think that no one had actually cared how or that it was a terminal illness or some tragic accident.
I wonder if he was an all right guy...
In this case, it would be best not to assume too much about the dead, you know? They've moved on to another life that is hopefully better lest their karma chase them.
I Love Him More!
Over the past weekend I went to a party at a friend of a friend's house and had a blast. They were smoking hookah in the kitchen and had beer pong and Mario Kart 64 (hells to the yeah!) in the living room complete with music and a ton of sitting room. Their trailer is loitered with couches and recliners. Having just come from the bar after a Woodchuck, a car bomb, a fail of an "Apple" (we subbed Magners) Pie a la mode and PBR (because a guy was so kind to buy myself and my sketching friend a drink) I was feeling pretty good. I know I was because that PBR started to taste good. Even the Coors and Bud Light I had at the party tasted good.
Eventually, about an hour after I had gotten there Awesome Host #1 turns on the Nintendo 64 for us silly people and says, "Ya'll can play Mario Kart!" I love Mario Kart. I instantly jump on the chance and some kid named Taylor and I were unraveling the controllers and I end up with the first controller. Very purposefully too as well. As soon as I sat down in my spot and the music brought our attention to the opening menu a girl makes this statement, "Oh my God, I love Yoshi! I call dibs." I simply turned to her and calmly said, "We'll see." She has no idea and she's decently drunk but still coherent enough. I think. Hearing this my roommate goads her on and says, "Uh-oh, watch out for this girl" -- pointing at me -- "she's obsessed! She had a yoshi wallet." Now it's like a little mini challenge.
"I do too!"
"I have two wallets," I correct my roommate and he passes it on.
"I have a Yoshi poster on my wall." I politely say that I do not wish to get into it. Am I afraid of losing? No. Never mind the fact that I have a Yoshi puzzle I've constructed and hung on my wall. And kept the box. Because it has a Yoshi on it. And those cute little chapsticks and their packages. I can hardly use them because they're special. In my mind I think, "How could I lose? She's got nothing on me".
Finally back to the actual game as soon as Character Select Menu comes up I slide down a space and claim Yoshi in about a second. There's a reason I am first player. A very good reason. No one else can play Yoshi because in the event that I am not Yoshi - I'll forfeit. I've done it in Super Smash Bros. games and the like. I hate going against Yoshi. Those cute little dinosaurs are like my kryptonite. There's no way in hell I can let myself blast Yoshi with a Red Turtle Shell or run him over with a Star Power. It'll destroy my psyche. For the first few races (four versus) I kick ass. Even though I'm pretty buzzed (trust me, I know when I am drunk - that came later in the party).
Start of Round Two I lose - bastards hit me with a shell on my jump in Wario Stadium planting me in last. So I give up the controller to an unworthy person who continually expresses dissatisfaction at being Yoshi and how much he perceives him to suck. It was painful to watch and listen to. I'm not sure how many times he died in my mind or how many black eyes he got, but sufficient to say I kept my cool and snatched the controller from him as soon as he lost. How dare he.
I really like Yoshi. In effect badmouthing him or any of them would be the close equivalent of someone abusing someone precious to you - like your best friend or such. Just imagine it like that. It's close but not quite.
Eventually, about an hour after I had gotten there Awesome Host #1 turns on the Nintendo 64 for us silly people and says, "Ya'll can play Mario Kart!" I love Mario Kart. I instantly jump on the chance and some kid named Taylor and I were unraveling the controllers and I end up with the first controller. Very purposefully too as well. As soon as I sat down in my spot and the music brought our attention to the opening menu a girl makes this statement, "Oh my God, I love Yoshi! I call dibs." I simply turned to her and calmly said, "We'll see." She has no idea and she's decently drunk but still coherent enough. I think. Hearing this my roommate goads her on and says, "Uh-oh, watch out for this girl" -- pointing at me -- "she's obsessed! She had a yoshi wallet." Now it's like a little mini challenge.
"I do too!"
"I have two wallets," I correct my roommate and he passes it on.
"I have a Yoshi poster on my wall." I politely say that I do not wish to get into it. Am I afraid of losing? No. Never mind the fact that I have a Yoshi puzzle I've constructed and hung on my wall. And kept the box. Because it has a Yoshi on it. And those cute little chapsticks and their packages. I can hardly use them because they're special. In my mind I think, "How could I lose? She's got nothing on me".
Finally back to the actual game as soon as Character Select Menu comes up I slide down a space and claim Yoshi in about a second. There's a reason I am first player. A very good reason. No one else can play Yoshi because in the event that I am not Yoshi - I'll forfeit. I've done it in Super Smash Bros. games and the like. I hate going against Yoshi. Those cute little dinosaurs are like my kryptonite. There's no way in hell I can let myself blast Yoshi with a Red Turtle Shell or run him over with a Star Power. It'll destroy my psyche. For the first few races (four versus) I kick ass. Even though I'm pretty buzzed (trust me, I know when I am drunk - that came later in the party).
Start of Round Two I lose - bastards hit me with a shell on my jump in Wario Stadium planting me in last. So I give up the controller to an unworthy person who continually expresses dissatisfaction at being Yoshi and how much he perceives him to suck. It was painful to watch and listen to. I'm not sure how many times he died in my mind or how many black eyes he got, but sufficient to say I kept my cool and snatched the controller from him as soon as he lost. How dare he.
I really like Yoshi. In effect badmouthing him or any of them would be the close equivalent of someone abusing someone precious to you - like your best friend or such. Just imagine it like that. It's close but not quite.
18 February 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Twenty-Eight
Prompt: "Day 28 —You read about yourself in your brother/sister, girlfriend/boyfriend’s diary. What did you read?"
Dear Journal,
I just witnessed the most adorable thing yet. My darling has shown me another side of her cuteness and I can't help but think I'll never be bored. Let me try to describe what happened: she was laying on the floor and must have decided not to be there anymore. I suppose you could say it was how she got off the floor is what did me in. She pushed off with her shoulder and chin rather than the standard pushing off with her hands. It was just that and all I could say was, "I love you". And then she laughed her cute little laugh.
I hope to keep seeing more.
Dear Journal,
I just witnessed the most adorable thing yet. My darling has shown me another side of her cuteness and I can't help but think I'll never be bored. Let me try to describe what happened: she was laying on the floor and must have decided not to be there anymore. I suppose you could say it was how she got off the floor is what did me in. She pushed off with her shoulder and chin rather than the standard pushing off with her hands. It was just that and all I could say was, "I love you". And then she laughed her cute little laugh.
I hope to keep seeing more.
17 February 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Twenty-Seven
Prompt: "Day 27 —Make up a near-death experience (unless you have a real one)."
When my family and I were living in California we had an... unexpected visitor. It was my Aunt and she had flown in from Hawaii. This was one of the last times I can remember actually seeing her. At the very most I must have been six years old, but it still haunts me to this day.
My Aunt Cindy was very... unstable. A drug addict since she was eighteen, pulled in through her minor modeling career. She came to us all panicked and worried. She just kept repeating that she needed some place to stay until things blew over. At that age, I didn't really understand what she said or what "being addicted" meant. I just knew there was something off.
Before dinner my mom and dad were arguing about her, about what to do with her. My mother kept saying over and over that my aunt, "Needs to leave immediately" and that she "didn't care where the hell she holed up" so long as it was away from here. Being my dad's sister, he was more defensive and told my mother to "shut the hell up and deal with it" and should anything happen he would "take care of it". Dinner was stressful. My aunt was extremely paranoid and the slightest noises set her off. Maybe the wind blew in just the right way up against our little house and she'd freeze like some sort of deer caught up in lights. Or maybe there was a faint scratching on the door. After a while it must have been too much because she started weeping. My dad tried to calm her but nothing seemed to make her smile. I wasn't sure what to do. Eventually my mom told my brother and I to go to bed.
Later that night I heard my parents arguing again. This time my aunt tried to fight back as my dad demanded to know why she was so stupid for coming here and "endangering his family". There was a dreadful pounding on the door after my dad had asked if she had been followed. To be honest, I'm not sure what happened next. I could barely make sense of the words that were exchanged and the sounds of firecrackers, really loud firecrackers around. Suddenly a man came into my room and spent most of the time tearing it up, screaming curse words. Then he saw me in my bed and grabbed me by my hair. "Where the fuck is she?" he yelled. I didn't understand so I was silent. He looked mean and ragged. "I said, 'Where the fuck is she'." He pointed a gun at me. It must have been a gun. I'd never seen one in person before. There was a bang, I remember. I felt like I had been punched by my older brother, right in the gut. Or maybe more like a hundred different versions of my brother. Even though it was already dark, I remember things started going out of focus. Which was odd because I had really good night vision. Things were fuzzy like they were when I had taken off my glasses. And then my body ached. Mostly my stomach. It wouldn't stop and I felt so wet and cold. I didn't know what to do. I didn't understand what had happened but my little body knew one thing: I had been shot and I was going to die.
I didn't hear the sirens when they came or the people shouting. I didn't feel the man who came in with a kit of some sort. He said something to me. Something like, "It's going to be all right. Hold on." I think that's what he said.
When my family and I were living in California we had an... unexpected visitor. It was my Aunt and she had flown in from Hawaii. This was one of the last times I can remember actually seeing her. At the very most I must have been six years old, but it still haunts me to this day.
My Aunt Cindy was very... unstable. A drug addict since she was eighteen, pulled in through her minor modeling career. She came to us all panicked and worried. She just kept repeating that she needed some place to stay until things blew over. At that age, I didn't really understand what she said or what "being addicted" meant. I just knew there was something off.
Before dinner my mom and dad were arguing about her, about what to do with her. My mother kept saying over and over that my aunt, "Needs to leave immediately" and that she "didn't care where the hell she holed up" so long as it was away from here. Being my dad's sister, he was more defensive and told my mother to "shut the hell up and deal with it" and should anything happen he would "take care of it". Dinner was stressful. My aunt was extremely paranoid and the slightest noises set her off. Maybe the wind blew in just the right way up against our little house and she'd freeze like some sort of deer caught up in lights. Or maybe there was a faint scratching on the door. After a while it must have been too much because she started weeping. My dad tried to calm her but nothing seemed to make her smile. I wasn't sure what to do. Eventually my mom told my brother and I to go to bed.
Later that night I heard my parents arguing again. This time my aunt tried to fight back as my dad demanded to know why she was so stupid for coming here and "endangering his family". There was a dreadful pounding on the door after my dad had asked if she had been followed. To be honest, I'm not sure what happened next. I could barely make sense of the words that were exchanged and the sounds of firecrackers, really loud firecrackers around. Suddenly a man came into my room and spent most of the time tearing it up, screaming curse words. Then he saw me in my bed and grabbed me by my hair. "Where the fuck is she?" he yelled. I didn't understand so I was silent. He looked mean and ragged. "I said, 'Where the fuck is she'." He pointed a gun at me. It must have been a gun. I'd never seen one in person before. There was a bang, I remember. I felt like I had been punched by my older brother, right in the gut. Or maybe more like a hundred different versions of my brother. Even though it was already dark, I remember things started going out of focus. Which was odd because I had really good night vision. Things were fuzzy like they were when I had taken off my glasses. And then my body ached. Mostly my stomach. It wouldn't stop and I felt so wet and cold. I didn't know what to do. I didn't understand what had happened but my little body knew one thing: I had been shot and I was going to die.
I didn't hear the sirens when they came or the people shouting. I didn't feel the man who came in with a kit of some sort. He said something to me. Something like, "It's going to be all right. Hold on." I think that's what he said.
16 February 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Twenty-Six
Prompt: "Day 26 —Write about your worst habit."
I think too much.
Ironically this came up last night while I was making out with someone I am really attracted to. Not only that, it could have led to a sexual intercourse, but I decided no. I didn't want to ruin our friendship despite all the sexual tension. And I kept thinking that and sort of spoiling the mood though that was not the reason. We just wanted to have a bit of fun.
There have been other times that this has happened but this is by far the most recent example. Maybe I should let myself have fun sometimes...
I think too much.
Ironically this came up last night while I was making out with someone I am really attracted to. Not only that, it could have led to a sexual intercourse, but I decided no. I didn't want to ruin our friendship despite all the sexual tension. And I kept thinking that and sort of spoiling the mood though that was not the reason. We just wanted to have a bit of fun.
There have been other times that this has happened but this is by far the most recent example. Maybe I should let myself have fun sometimes...
15 February 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Twenty-Five
Prompt: "Day 25 —Write a story about ‘What the Neighbors Saw.’"
What is all that noise?
Lo and behold a... saber? What nonsense is this? And chain-mail... Are my neighbors fighting with swords? There they go again, dashing across the living room with a saber and a rapier, lunging at one another childishly. Tripping over the chairs brought one down and nearly determined who was the victor. But alas! Fallen rival parried with a deft flick of the wrist and diverted the attack! Up on her feet she countered with a weak strike, still lumbering over the chairs. They continued like this and finally called the duel a draw.
I realize that my neighbors are thirty-year olds.
What is all that noise?
Lo and behold a... saber? What nonsense is this? And chain-mail... Are my neighbors fighting with swords? There they go again, dashing across the living room with a saber and a rapier, lunging at one another childishly. Tripping over the chairs brought one down and nearly determined who was the victor. But alas! Fallen rival parried with a deft flick of the wrist and diverted the attack! Up on her feet she countered with a weak strike, still lumbering over the chairs. They continued like this and finally called the duel a draw.
I realize that my neighbors are thirty-year olds.
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Twenty-Four
Prompt: "Day 24 —Write about the longest amount of time you’ve ever gone without sleeping."
It was when I was young and bushy-tailed!
It started out with my older brother, Steven, telling me that he had just stayed up for forty-eight hours. That amazed my young six year old brain. Forty-eight hours? That was like... two days or something. So I thought I might try. And I stayed up. And waited. And waited. And you know what? I maybe got close to twenty-two hours. Finally I have up - I prized sleep more! That's pretty true today too.
It was when I was young and bushy-tailed!
It started out with my older brother, Steven, telling me that he had just stayed up for forty-eight hours. That amazed my young six year old brain. Forty-eight hours? That was like... two days or something. So I thought I might try. And I stayed up. And waited. And waited. And you know what? I maybe got close to twenty-two hours. Finally I have up - I prized sleep more! That's pretty true today too.
13 February 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Twenty-Three
Prompt: "Day 23 —Pretend you’re a cartoon character. What type of a character would you be? What would a day in your life be like?"
Mmmmmmmmm... A pokemon trainer. You want to know why? Because kids younger than I am (I'm twenty-one) can go out and travel around the world adventuring. And I seriously would love to be able to walk from city to city!
Wake up and enjoy the sound of what surely would be my precious pokemon waking me up. Despite loving all the rare type pokemon, I'd probably end up with a Slowpoke because I find them adorable. And then we would cuddle and discover that we don't have a lot of money to spare on food so we take a trip down to the forest to scavenge for some berries. After picking enough to somewhat sate our appetites we might find a nearby stream and drink a bit, play and head into town to train with some trainers looking for a battle. Not only that, we might even be able to hustle some people for money! Ohk, ohk, not so much hustling as displaying our awesome skill! And for once we would have real pokemon battles.
Mmmmmmmmm... A pokemon trainer. You want to know why? Because kids younger than I am (I'm twenty-one) can go out and travel around the world adventuring. And I seriously would love to be able to walk from city to city!
Wake up and enjoy the sound of what surely would be my precious pokemon waking me up. Despite loving all the rare type pokemon, I'd probably end up with a Slowpoke because I find them adorable. And then we would cuddle and discover that we don't have a lot of money to spare on food so we take a trip down to the forest to scavenge for some berries. After picking enough to somewhat sate our appetites we might find a nearby stream and drink a bit, play and head into town to train with some trainers looking for a battle. Not only that, we might even be able to hustle some people for money! Ohk, ohk, not so much hustling as displaying our awesome skill! And for once we would have real pokemon battles.
12 February 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Twenty-Two
Prompt: "Day 22 —You wake up with a key gripped tightly in your hand. How did you get this key? What does it lock or unlock?"
Falling... I couldn't breathe and yet... falling through the ocean was like a dream. I didn't need to breathe.
A key descended down, silver and shining and ornate. It was held by a strange man with long obsidian hair, as deeply colored as the ocean surrounding us. "Be still," he said. His voice rang clearly through my ears. Who are you? "Mirror, mirror on the wall," he began and smiled mischievously. He pushed the key through my chest and into my... heart?
When I woke up that day I found the key around my neck. Looking closely now I noticed three opal gemstones in the bow. It was beautiful. But who was that guy? "Don't worry too much about it right now. You should get ready for the day," he reminded. Now I am hearing voices in my head. He was right... Annoyingly so.
I wish somehow today I could go out.
"Why don't you?"
Good question. Though I wasn't sure I could manage that. It was quiet in the house except for the time.
Falling... I couldn't breathe and yet... falling through the ocean was like a dream. I didn't need to breathe.
A key descended down, silver and shining and ornate. It was held by a strange man with long obsidian hair, as deeply colored as the ocean surrounding us. "Be still," he said. His voice rang clearly through my ears. Who are you? "Mirror, mirror on the wall," he began and smiled mischievously. He pushed the key through my chest and into my... heart?
When I woke up that day I found the key around my neck. Looking closely now I noticed three opal gemstones in the bow. It was beautiful. But who was that guy? "Don't worry too much about it right now. You should get ready for the day," he reminded. Now I am hearing voices in my head. He was right... Annoyingly so.
I wish somehow today I could go out.
"Why don't you?"
Good question. Though I wasn't sure I could manage that. It was quiet in the house except for the time.
11 February 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Twenty-One
Prompt: "Day 21 —Find a job ad in the paper. Write about your life if you had that job."
I've been so joyful the past few months. Despite the hell it turns into during the summer when brides come in to startle Minnie and I into their bouquets and floral arrangements. To be honest I didn't put much stock in their ideas. They'd normally be pleased with picking a basic arrangement and a few specific flowers and call it good. Minnie had a talent for reading wishes and used it at every possible turn.
Today was a good day, a balmy Friday afternoon when things were starting to pick up again. Even still I was a little sleepy. But the shop smelled of flowers and fabric and it was delightful. They were gorgeous to look at and to play with and Minnie kept such wonderful company brewing a new herbal tea every few hours or so.
Life~
I've been so joyful the past few months. Despite the hell it turns into during the summer when brides come in to startle Minnie and I into their bouquets and floral arrangements. To be honest I didn't put much stock in their ideas. They'd normally be pleased with picking a basic arrangement and a few specific flowers and call it good. Minnie had a talent for reading wishes and used it at every possible turn.
Today was a good day, a balmy Friday afternoon when things were starting to pick up again. Even still I was a little sleepy. But the shop smelled of flowers and fabric and it was delightful. They were gorgeous to look at and to play with and Minnie kept such wonderful company brewing a new herbal tea every few hours or so.
Life~
10 February 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Twenty
Prompt: "Day 20 —If you could go on only one more vacation in your lifetime, where would you go and why?"
I would have to bring my best friend and we would have to go to Hawaii. I miss the secluded beaches that aren't full of people. Just the quiet and loll of ocean waves and tangible sunlight. We could do anything, say anything or do nothing and say nothing. Just enjoy each other's company, some fresh islander BBQ and whatever drinks.
I would have to bring my best friend and we would have to go to Hawaii. I miss the secluded beaches that aren't full of people. Just the quiet and loll of ocean waves and tangible sunlight. We could do anything, say anything or do nothing and say nothing. Just enjoy each other's company, some fresh islander BBQ and whatever drinks.
09 February 2014
Reminiscing
While going through Facebook I saw this comic about Venusaur adopting this Charmander and no matter how many times I read it brings me to tears. I'm not sure why it makes my heart ache. Every now and then I realize that mortality is a very real thing and there's always the prospect of someone I hold dear passing into the next life. It's tragic to lose precious people.
Right now, while I am still experiencing nostalgia, I remembered a strange memory from when I was a child:
While I was living in Alaska my family was settling into a new house and structure. My father had just won the custody case against my mother and my babysitter had just become my new mom.
My new mom read books to me. One of the books I remember distinctly was Love You Forever. This story has always remained at the back of my mind.
Right now, while I am still experiencing nostalgia, I remembered a strange memory from when I was a child:
While I was living in Alaska my family was settling into a new house and structure. My father had just won the custody case against my mother and my babysitter had just become my new mom.
My new mom read books to me. One of the books I remember distinctly was Love You Forever. This story has always remained at the back of my mind.
Dear Diary, (#1)
Dear Diary,
In the air I taste another low creeping up on me.
Aside from that today has been incredibly unproductive and boring. For the Art Club I have a little assignment to illustrate a page of story but feel unmotivated to do it right now. It's due Tuesday. Sweet mother, dear Procrastination.
Maybe I feel like I need to be more social right now. I'm bored. Hungry. And tired though I slept a good portion of the day away. I need to do something to combat the onset of another depressive spell. Maybe I should write. Or sink back into pleasant daydreams.
On the plus side, I made a fun quip about the Yoshi game coming out on the Wii U. I might just buy that game to have it. I should get the system as well. Puppies. Pomskies. Yoshis. Cute, adorable dinosaurs. Mamegomas.
In the air I taste another low creeping up on me.
Aside from that today has been incredibly unproductive and boring. For the Art Club I have a little assignment to illustrate a page of story but feel unmotivated to do it right now. It's due Tuesday. Sweet mother, dear Procrastination.
Maybe I feel like I need to be more social right now. I'm bored. Hungry. And tired though I slept a good portion of the day away. I need to do something to combat the onset of another depressive spell. Maybe I should write. Or sink back into pleasant daydreams.
On the plus side, I made a fun quip about the Yoshi game coming out on the Wii U. I might just buy that game to have it. I should get the system as well. Puppies. Pomskies. Yoshis. Cute, adorable dinosaurs. Mamegomas.
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Nineteen
Prompt: "Day 19 —Write a list of 25 (or just 5!) things you want to do in your life."
1. Have a lasting marriage.
2. Start a family.
3. Travel to 20 countries.
4. Eat healthier.
5. Maintain friendships.
6. Skydive.
7. Take diving lessons.
8. Be an artist.
9. Publish a book.
10. Live abroad for five years.
11. Dance in a ball.
12. Learn how to dance classical dances!
13. Learn Korean.
14. Learn Japanese.
15. Learn German.
16. Take a good picture!
17. Adopt a teen.
18. Excel at archery.
19. Learn Tae Kwon Do
20. Learn Wing Chun
21. Win a bar fight.
22. Make strangers smile.
23. Take lots of pictures for my kids.
24. Learn how to cook for my family.
25. Be an awesome mother.
1. Have a lasting marriage.
2. Start a family.
3. Travel to 20 countries.
4. Eat healthier.
5. Maintain friendships.
6. Skydive.
7. Take diving lessons.
8. Be an artist.
9. Publish a book.
10. Live abroad for five years.
11. Dance in a ball.
12. Learn how to dance classical dances!
13. Learn Korean.
14. Learn Japanese.
15. Learn German.
16. Take a good picture!
17. Adopt a teen.
18. Excel at archery.
19. Learn Tae Kwon Do
20. Learn Wing Chun
21. Win a bar fight.
22. Make strangers smile.
23. Take lots of pictures for my kids.
24. Learn how to cook for my family.
25. Be an awesome mother.
08 February 2014
Meet Yoshis
Meet some Yoshis. Aren't they super adorable? I like this picture - it's rather accurate to what I've grown up with them looking like and it shows the nice diversity in color that they are born into. Ah. More to come. Because they are super adorable and have amazing abilities. I wish my metabolism was that fast!
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Eighteen
Prompt: "Day 18 —Take a reader behind the wheel with the worst driver you’ve ever known."
Breathe, steady. Otherwise is was a beautiful summer day in the Black Hills and the sun was getting ready to set over Lake Pactola. View is grand. But I suppose the only reason I am concerned is because of how impossible it seems for the driver to stay within the lines as we turn endlessly around cliffs on cliffs. She's not drunk and she's not tired. If anything I'd say she were nervous because this is the fifth time she's ever driven in her life (not consistently mind you) and she's learning.
Breathe again. It's going to be all right. Attempt not humor because she's pulling awfully clo- FUCK. I think that's what I would say if I had a moment to prepare myself. But it's happened all too quickly as we roll (thankfully) against the side of the cliff instead of off it. We didn't plummet into watery death or crash upon some rocks. Actually, we're hanging upside down. And we're in shock.
Breathe, steady. Otherwise is was a beautiful summer day in the Black Hills and the sun was getting ready to set over Lake Pactola. View is grand. But I suppose the only reason I am concerned is because of how impossible it seems for the driver to stay within the lines as we turn endlessly around cliffs on cliffs. She's not drunk and she's not tired. If anything I'd say she were nervous because this is the fifth time she's ever driven in her life (not consistently mind you) and she's learning.
Breathe again. It's going to be all right. Attempt not humor because she's pulling awfully clo- FUCK. I think that's what I would say if I had a moment to prepare myself. But it's happened all too quickly as we roll (thankfully) against the side of the cliff instead of off it. We didn't plummet into watery death or crash upon some rocks. Actually, we're hanging upside down. And we're in shock.
Fighting Over the Tele
First, I cannot deny that I have long been without the capacity to enjoy others' company since I started working again. Something about work consistently exhausts me though it isn't difficult and is actually enjoyable at this point in my life.
Secondly, I'm just always irritable after work when it comes to people who don't normally intrude upon my personal space (oddly by associating more with my roommate than myself). I'm just that way.
So now about the title: since my roommate's tele broke we're left downgrading in the living room from his 42 inch, to my 32 inch. I was farming for some cash for an achievement in which I am a tenth of the way now down to less than that. (10 million gald for an achievement? Sheesh). Then one friend came over and started complaining and wanted to watch a movie. But I am stubborn and she can wait because I am having me time (in the middle of the living room ironically). So I keep playing. After about an hour longer and a few failed attempts on her part on summoning other people my roommate asks politely if I was at a part "where we can watch a movie soon"? I'm sucker to at least compromising with my roommate for what should be obvious reasons in the courtesy department.
Two more people show up and the Addams Family has been on for really about ten minutes. Our apartment is full of people and I've almost had my fill of irritation. It must be getting close to that time...
How interesting this is. And to think this isn't over video games like it is all those other times. That's a whole set of different stories itself.
Some words from the John Hancock, "The greatest ability in business is to get along with others and influence their actions." Eat them, digest them and hopefully work them into something deliciously awesome and feel a bit better about having company. Unless you have it often and wish it would go away. In that case throw beer for men and chocolate for girls.
Secondly, I'm just always irritable after work when it comes to people who don't normally intrude upon my personal space (oddly by associating more with my roommate than myself). I'm just that way.
So now about the title: since my roommate's tele broke we're left downgrading in the living room from his 42 inch, to my 32 inch. I was farming for some cash for an achievement in which I am a tenth of the way now down to less than that. (10 million gald for an achievement? Sheesh). Then one friend came over and started complaining and wanted to watch a movie. But I am stubborn and she can wait because I am having me time (in the middle of the living room ironically). So I keep playing. After about an hour longer and a few failed attempts on her part on summoning other people my roommate asks politely if I was at a part "where we can watch a movie soon"? I'm sucker to at least compromising with my roommate for what should be obvious reasons in the courtesy department.
Two more people show up and the Addams Family has been on for really about ten minutes. Our apartment is full of people and I've almost had my fill of irritation. It must be getting close to that time...
How interesting this is. And to think this isn't over video games like it is all those other times. That's a whole set of different stories itself.
Some words from the John Hancock, "The greatest ability in business is to get along with others and influence their actions." Eat them, digest them and hopefully work them into something deliciously awesome and feel a bit better about having company. Unless you have it often and wish it would go away. In that case throw beer for men and chocolate for girls.
07 February 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Seventeen
Prompt: "Day 17 — Write a short scenario set in the kitchen of a fast-food restaurant."
Some had turned away and others had stayed to gawk at the cashier who reminded them yet again, "I'm sorry but our fryers aren't working so we can't serve any chicken, fish or other fried goods." Still amazing how many people keep asking.
Sitting on back line keeping an eye on Bill who's fixing away at the "new" fryers we got. Apparently a nearby store was so kind as to donate them to our pitiful restaurant. Voila! Busted fryers. Which Bill is fixing away while I keep tossing down sandwiches. You'd never seen so much back-flow in one area and complaints about circumstances that are out of your hand. But that happens and manager number one is super stressed because today makes the second day without fryers.
Lunch rush is over and I can't seem to sit still. My fingers are so used to making food that they can't seem to stop. It's been a little over two hours and I play with a little napkin I've used to clean the sauce I spilled a few minutes ago on that last sandwich. The fryers are still out of commission and by the look on Bill's face, things don't look promising. "Hey, how are you holding up?" goes the sound round the store. Everyone seems to be all right but our manager is still stressing. Slowly but surely, everyone starts prepping to leave. I wash everything I can touched and have touched. Still the fryers are out. Why are they still out? As I heave some trays to the backroom I notice the old ones by the back door sides covered in muck. I think that's the first time I've seen so much grease in my life and the sight makes me want to up-chuck.
Scrub a-dub dub.
Some had turned away and others had stayed to gawk at the cashier who reminded them yet again, "I'm sorry but our fryers aren't working so we can't serve any chicken, fish or other fried goods." Still amazing how many people keep asking.
Sitting on back line keeping an eye on Bill who's fixing away at the "new" fryers we got. Apparently a nearby store was so kind as to donate them to our pitiful restaurant. Voila! Busted fryers. Which Bill is fixing away while I keep tossing down sandwiches. You'd never seen so much back-flow in one area and complaints about circumstances that are out of your hand. But that happens and manager number one is super stressed because today makes the second day without fryers.
Lunch rush is over and I can't seem to sit still. My fingers are so used to making food that they can't seem to stop. It's been a little over two hours and I play with a little napkin I've used to clean the sauce I spilled a few minutes ago on that last sandwich. The fryers are still out of commission and by the look on Bill's face, things don't look promising. "Hey, how are you holding up?" goes the sound round the store. Everyone seems to be all right but our manager is still stressing. Slowly but surely, everyone starts prepping to leave. I wash everything I can touched and have touched. Still the fryers are out. Why are they still out? As I heave some trays to the backroom I notice the old ones by the back door sides covered in muck. I think that's the first time I've seen so much grease in my life and the sight makes me want to up-chuck.
Scrub a-dub dub.
06 February 2014
Achievements and Competition
Thank you.
I sometimes look at my Gamer Score on my 360 (because I can't afford the One) and think that's it is super low compared to some of my friends. Actually, almost all of them. I see myself as a really competitive person and knowing that they have some odd amount of points above me really irritates me - especially because I don't have the money to keep up with them. Or the time it seems.
Now achievements in games may not count for much (if anything really to most other non-gamers) but they still make me proud to a certain degree. It's nice knowing that I beat x-game on a certain difficulty and there's a little brand for all to see. As for other achievements... I've noticed that I have become slightly addicted to Tumblr. Even more recently I found out there are achievements which seems odd in the micro-blogging world? You even get little trophies, we'll say, for x-number of people liking your posts or sharing your content (which isn't hard if you reblog anything you like - it's bound to happen). Which one seems more brag-able to more people?
This makes this post sort of random, you know? Just some thoughts before I trot of to bed after maybe a map or five on Awakening.
I sometimes look at my Gamer Score on my 360 (because I can't afford the One) and think that's it is super low compared to some of my friends. Actually, almost all of them. I see myself as a really competitive person and knowing that they have some odd amount of points above me really irritates me - especially because I don't have the money to keep up with them. Or the time it seems.
Now achievements in games may not count for much (if anything really to most other non-gamers) but they still make me proud to a certain degree. It's nice knowing that I beat x-game on a certain difficulty and there's a little brand for all to see. As for other achievements... I've noticed that I have become slightly addicted to Tumblr. Even more recently I found out there are achievements which seems odd in the micro-blogging world? You even get little trophies, we'll say, for x-number of people liking your posts or sharing your content (which isn't hard if you reblog anything you like - it's bound to happen). Which one seems more brag-able to more people?
This makes this post sort of random, you know? Just some thoughts before I trot of to bed after maybe a map or five on Awakening.
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Sixteen
Prompt: "Day 16 —If we assume ghosts are real, what type of ghost would you like to see?"
Sure.
I'd like to see a friendly apparition. Especially one attached to a public place because a) it's not where I live and b) I can see it under normal circumstances. I'd hope to establish a line of communication and tease out the apparitions history as well as the bits of their personality left over. Wouldn't that be neat to interact with them? I'll cross my fingers it doesn't get attached to me in a negative way because I release a lot of negative energy from time to time. In the end though, we'd have to save good-bye one way or another and best wishes it is them crossing over.
Sure.
I'd like to see a friendly apparition. Especially one attached to a public place because a) it's not where I live and b) I can see it under normal circumstances. I'd hope to establish a line of communication and tease out the apparitions history as well as the bits of their personality left over. Wouldn't that be neat to interact with them? I'll cross my fingers it doesn't get attached to me in a negative way because I release a lot of negative energy from time to time. In the end though, we'd have to save good-bye one way or another and best wishes it is them crossing over.
05 February 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Fifteen
Prompt: "Day 15 — Create a character who is falsely accused of a crime."
Zane knelt before his king, his judge and executioner. "What say you in defense of your crimes?" A mere formality. One everyone in the room understood yet the question had to be asked. The chains rattled around his form as he rose and lifted his head. King Matthis eyes were filled with sorrow. What an unfit face for a sovereign so young.
"My voice is the voice of silence for there is nothing more I can say to the peoples of the court to further convince them of my innocence." But Matthis knew it wasn't good enough. This was not a trial of reason. This was a trial of beliefs. Zane lowered his head but not before catching the petrified glint in Matthis' eyes.
"Is there really nothing you can say?" Matthis whispered, his heart broken. He looked down at the man he bored a shameful love for. And for the second time in his life he was scared of the words that were going to come out. Zane stared at him with calm, knowing eyes. In his heart he could only cry out apologies.
My sweet love, do not fear; the morning shall follow after.
Aren't you worried though Zane? Matthis could feel him prodding him gently to let him know he understood.
One day I will have you in my arms again and taste that sunshine on your lips. This was not the time to be flattered. I am thinking about shameful things again Mattie. Zane was somewhat laughing and Matthis could see it in the way he held his hands. Full of mirth. Zane had always had such active hands.
Do you promise?
I promise, Matthis. They unlocked his chains from the floor and were dragging Zane away.
Zane knelt before his king, his judge and executioner. "What say you in defense of your crimes?" A mere formality. One everyone in the room understood yet the question had to be asked. The chains rattled around his form as he rose and lifted his head. King Matthis eyes were filled with sorrow. What an unfit face for a sovereign so young.
"My voice is the voice of silence for there is nothing more I can say to the peoples of the court to further convince them of my innocence." But Matthis knew it wasn't good enough. This was not a trial of reason. This was a trial of beliefs. Zane lowered his head but not before catching the petrified glint in Matthis' eyes.
"Is there really nothing you can say?" Matthis whispered, his heart broken. He looked down at the man he bored a shameful love for. And for the second time in his life he was scared of the words that were going to come out. Zane stared at him with calm, knowing eyes. In his heart he could only cry out apologies.
My sweet love, do not fear; the morning shall follow after.
Aren't you worried though Zane? Matthis could feel him prodding him gently to let him know he understood.
One day I will have you in my arms again and taste that sunshine on your lips. This was not the time to be flattered. I am thinking about shameful things again Mattie. Zane was somewhat laughing and Matthis could see it in the way he held his hands. Full of mirth. Zane had always had such active hands.
Do you promise?
I promise, Matthis. They unlocked his chains from the floor and were dragging Zane away.
04 February 2014
Drawing
At Art Club I had my sketches evaluated. A friend of mine are starting to do some figure drawing exercises to better our skills. We want to be really good at drawing. Besides, I like drawing people - it gives me an excuse to observe them even closer.
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Fourteen
Prompt: "Day 14 —Elvis still gets 100 Valentines each year. Tell about one of the people who sent one."
Susie plopped down her bed twirling her fingers into her hair with not much a care. She was going to do it this time for sure, she was positively going to do it! Susie pulled out the pretty pink stationary she'd just bought and the very special pen. It had to be perfect. It was going to be perfect!
"Dear Elvis. I think you are so hot!" Nevermind the dead part. Wait! If she was in love with him did that mean she was a necrophiliac...? Oh who cared. Susie disowned that thought. "Have a good Valentine's day from your one true love, Susie Reynolds." She rolled with happiness at the thought and stuck on some heart stickers. Digging out an equally romantic envelope she addressed it to the Elvis Presley and sealed it with a kiss.
Tomorrow, she would drop it off and it would arrive early just in case something happened in the mail. Susie tucked her love underneath her pillow and stared at the posters of Elvis on her walls. And the memorabilia she had collected. As well as the records she had framed. Her room was quite literally littered with images of the sensation. And they did well to enchant her into sleep. Actually they helped with a lot of things. She always consulted Elvis whenever she faced truly hard decisions: like what to wear and what she should do after school. Ah. "I'll see you in my dreams." She whispered. "Goodnight."
Susie plopped down her bed twirling her fingers into her hair with not much a care. She was going to do it this time for sure, she was positively going to do it! Susie pulled out the pretty pink stationary she'd just bought and the very special pen. It had to be perfect. It was going to be perfect!
"Dear Elvis. I think you are so hot!" Nevermind the dead part. Wait! If she was in love with him did that mean she was a necrophiliac...? Oh who cared. Susie disowned that thought. "Have a good Valentine's day from your one true love, Susie Reynolds." She rolled with happiness at the thought and stuck on some heart stickers. Digging out an equally romantic envelope she addressed it to the Elvis Presley and sealed it with a kiss.
Tomorrow, she would drop it off and it would arrive early just in case something happened in the mail. Susie tucked her love underneath her pillow and stared at the posters of Elvis on her walls. And the memorabilia she had collected. As well as the records she had framed. Her room was quite literally littered with images of the sensation. And they did well to enchant her into sleep. Actually they helped with a lot of things. She always consulted Elvis whenever she faced truly hard decisions: like what to wear and what she should do after school. Ah. "I'll see you in my dreams." She whispered. "Goodnight."
03 February 2014
Throwing the Titles Around
I came back from the bar and Barbacoa's not too long ago actually having a grand ol' time hanging out with so many people.
At the bar we started talking about some of the anime series we had watched and a short glimpse of opinions and testing them against one another. Some of the things mentioned:
- Sword Art Online (I recommend - completed series)
- High School of the Dead
- Full Metal Alchemist
- Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood (enjoyed a lot)
- Princess Jellyfish (tons of fun)
- Black Butler (I like only the first season but better to read this one)
- .HACK
- Gantz
- Dragon Ball Z
- Yu Yu Hakusho (Yes. Violence! And plot)
- Naruto (Itachi.)
- Rune Soldier Louie
- My Little Pony
- Michiko e Hatchin (Started and good so far)
- 7 Samurai
- Samurai Champloo
- Space Dandy
- Cowboy Bebop
I think it's funny. At one point a friend of mine had said, "I guess I didn't know that much about anime." I laughed. I turned to him and said, "I don't know what they are talking about either." Absolute truth, some of the titles were new to me. It was nice though to be able to talk about these things and about what we liked in individual titles. Any good ones to recommend?
At the bar we started talking about some of the anime series we had watched and a short glimpse of opinions and testing them against one another. Some of the things mentioned:
- Sword Art Online (I recommend - completed series)
- High School of the Dead
- Full Metal Alchemist
- Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood (enjoyed a lot)
- Princess Jellyfish (tons of fun)
- Black Butler (I like only the first season but better to read this one)
- .HACK
- Gantz
- Dragon Ball Z
- Yu Yu Hakusho (Yes. Violence! And plot)
- Naruto (Itachi.)
- Rune Soldier Louie
- My Little Pony
- Michiko e Hatchin (Started and good so far)
- 7 Samurai
- Samurai Champloo
- Space Dandy
- Cowboy Bebop
I think it's funny. At one point a friend of mine had said, "I guess I didn't know that much about anime." I laughed. I turned to him and said, "I don't know what they are talking about either." Absolute truth, some of the titles were new to me. It was nice though to be able to talk about these things and about what we liked in individual titles. Any good ones to recommend?
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Thirteen
Prompt: "Day 13 —Write about a random picture you would find in an envelope of finished prints at Costco."
My friends tell me that Costco is like a ghetto version of Walmart. I have never been there before.
In any case, it worked for my needs. With deft hands and days of planning I quickly told mom I was going to "look at the different colors of yarn" for a "new knitting project" and scampered off in the general direction. She didn't pay much attention and went back to bargain hunting. Thank you Thanksgiving.
With baited breath I pried open the seal to the envelope. Praying, but I knew, that mine and Mandy's hard work had paid off. We spent hours pouring over example images and different outfits and producing a formula for sexiness for my boyfriend. However, when I pulled out the first image I had to stop, and think for a moment.
She looked no older than sixteen and no younger than fourteen. In the midst of the years she had developed breasts larger than my B-cups, and had such lovely curly blonde hair. Her skin was tanned I assume from lots of outdoor activities judging from the fine physique she had and the appearance of a volleyball. Without much a second thought I went through the next few pictures. She looked tired in them and her skin was paler and she looked thinner than normal. Huh.
Time. The more pictures I looked through the thinner she got and the more frail she appeared. Suddenly I stumbled upon a picture where her curls had vanished and been replaced by a signature bandana. My heart hurt. But she was still smiling. There were more of those pictures, some among what one could only assume as friends and families. Eventually she was in a wheelchair. Smiling.
On her bed sitting quietly reading a book. She looked really, serene? I think whoever took this picture had caught her off guard. The picture behind it was the last and it really took the cake. There was a slightly older girl with dark hair and skin, sitting next to a tombstone. It was a selfie. If you could believe that. In her hands she had some flowers and a picture of the both of them, geeking out in Halloween costumes for Blue's Clues. They looked really happy and close. Really close. However this colored girl seemed smiling sadly. I wondered.
My friends tell me that Costco is like a ghetto version of Walmart. I have never been there before.
In any case, it worked for my needs. With deft hands and days of planning I quickly told mom I was going to "look at the different colors of yarn" for a "new knitting project" and scampered off in the general direction. She didn't pay much attention and went back to bargain hunting. Thank you Thanksgiving.
With baited breath I pried open the seal to the envelope. Praying, but I knew, that mine and Mandy's hard work had paid off. We spent hours pouring over example images and different outfits and producing a formula for sexiness for my boyfriend. However, when I pulled out the first image I had to stop, and think for a moment.
She looked no older than sixteen and no younger than fourteen. In the midst of the years she had developed breasts larger than my B-cups, and had such lovely curly blonde hair. Her skin was tanned I assume from lots of outdoor activities judging from the fine physique she had and the appearance of a volleyball. Without much a second thought I went through the next few pictures. She looked tired in them and her skin was paler and she looked thinner than normal. Huh.
Time. The more pictures I looked through the thinner she got and the more frail she appeared. Suddenly I stumbled upon a picture where her curls had vanished and been replaced by a signature bandana. My heart hurt. But she was still smiling. There were more of those pictures, some among what one could only assume as friends and families. Eventually she was in a wheelchair. Smiling.
On her bed sitting quietly reading a book. She looked really, serene? I think whoever took this picture had caught her off guard. The picture behind it was the last and it really took the cake. There was a slightly older girl with dark hair and skin, sitting next to a tombstone. It was a selfie. If you could believe that. In her hands she had some flowers and a picture of the both of them, geeking out in Halloween costumes for Blue's Clues. They looked really happy and close. Really close. However this colored girl seemed smiling sadly. I wondered.
02 February 2014
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Twelve
Prompt: "Day 12 —What is your favorite day of the week?"
Tuesday. With Morrie.
Tuesday. With Morrie.
01 February 2014
Christening the Apartment
In the dirty sense, neh?
I had brought this up to my roommate one day to prove my sexual prowess! I am quite proud of it but it's wasn't a random person - it was someone very dear to me. Today though, I realized they wouldn't count it because that person is a female. "It's not sex," they tell me and I can't begin to explain how much they break my heart. I wonder if they could ever understand how much that hurts me.
In my heart of hearts I believe sex is sacred - a beautiful act to be enjoyed. There are many ways to have sex or to simply restate, there is not one way to have sex. I guess, many of you would find it confusing. What counts as sex? Answer: intercourse. Right? Penetration? That's what they tell me. You can only have real sex with a guy. Because he has a penis. What do those words really mean to me? That my time with someone I love, if happens to be a girl, is just "masturbating" to put it so vulgarly. It angers me. Why do my heterosexual friends get to decide that? One of them even told me that oral sex doesn't count or hand-jobs. They all fall under the umbrella, into the box of, sex. Just not the traditional sense. I suppose a better way would be to say sexual acts.
I wasn't sure how to speak against them. I'm tired of them trying to tell me I've not had sex. In my mind, I've already christened my apartment (though I am sure countless people have before me). For me, it's a love thing. Something that requires of a lot of input of emotions and intense trust. I have had lots of sex, happily, with one person for a long time. And before I get off-topic, I'm going to end on this wandering thought: why can't girls have sex with girls?
I had brought this up to my roommate one day to prove my sexual prowess! I am quite proud of it but it's wasn't a random person - it was someone very dear to me. Today though, I realized they wouldn't count it because that person is a female. "It's not sex," they tell me and I can't begin to explain how much they break my heart. I wonder if they could ever understand how much that hurts me.
In my heart of hearts I believe sex is sacred - a beautiful act to be enjoyed. There are many ways to have sex or to simply restate, there is not one way to have sex. I guess, many of you would find it confusing. What counts as sex? Answer: intercourse. Right? Penetration? That's what they tell me. You can only have real sex with a guy. Because he has a penis. What do those words really mean to me? That my time with someone I love, if happens to be a girl, is just "masturbating" to put it so vulgarly. It angers me. Why do my heterosexual friends get to decide that? One of them even told me that oral sex doesn't count or hand-jobs. They all fall under the umbrella, into the box of, sex. Just not the traditional sense. I suppose a better way would be to say sexual acts.
I wasn't sure how to speak against them. I'm tired of them trying to tell me I've not had sex. In my mind, I've already christened my apartment (though I am sure countless people have before me). For me, it's a love thing. Something that requires of a lot of input of emotions and intense trust. I have had lots of sex, happily, with one person for a long time. And before I get off-topic, I'm going to end on this wandering thought: why can't girls have sex with girls?
30 Day Writing Challenge - Day Eleven
Prompt: "Day 11 —What was your first childhood pet? Describe it in detail."
Snowy white fur and the mentality of a puppy eternal. Snowball (original, I know) had the blackest eyes and nose, a fox-shaped face with a short muzzle. She was a mini American Eskimo with the signature ring tail and glossy bushy fur as soft as down. Snowball was at most around fifteen pounds, if that. A perfect little lap dog.
Behavior wise she was a timid thing - wetting herself every time she was excited, happy or scared. That ended after a while - when she finally matured. Just a little FYI, American Eskimos take a long time to mature. So a puppy for life! Or for a long time. Otherwise she was the cutest, loudest, and playful thing. I miss her. She passed away in 2012, and we got her in 1998.
Snowy white fur and the mentality of a puppy eternal. Snowball (original, I know) had the blackest eyes and nose, a fox-shaped face with a short muzzle. She was a mini American Eskimo with the signature ring tail and glossy bushy fur as soft as down. Snowball was at most around fifteen pounds, if that. A perfect little lap dog.
Behavior wise she was a timid thing - wetting herself every time she was excited, happy or scared. That ended after a while - when she finally matured. Just a little FYI, American Eskimos take a long time to mature. So a puppy for life! Or for a long time. Otherwise she was the cutest, loudest, and playful thing. I miss her. She passed away in 2012, and we got her in 1998.
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