Prompt: "Day 10 —What do you want to be remembered for?"
From the view of my (hopeful) spouse: "Hi. I don't recognize many of you here today and I'm sure you don't recognize me. I'm Gweyn's spouse and my name is [dreamy something charming]. We've been married for 30 years, a good thirty years.
"It's been a difficult month with her untimely passing. Just before she died she came to me and said, 'Honey? I think... we should talk about funeral arrangements. Just in case.' She was smiling and told me not to worry. Gweyn said that a lot. And a lot of the time I knew she said it to make me feel better. I remember there was a time I had lost my wedding ring. I didn't even know how to approach because I also remember how long it took her to pick the 'perfect' one. Racked with so much guilt I finally came crying to her, 'Honey. I've lost my wedding ring. Please don't be mad.' And you know what? She wasn't mad. She took a moment to think about it. Finally she took me into her arms and said, 'I'm sorry you lost the ring too but it's O.K. I have you still and that's all that matters.' A few weeks later she took me ring shopping for our anniversary.
"Gweyn was always concerned with taking care of me, taking care of the kids and you could tell there was no greater joy she could have, no greater love. And that is how she lived: loving. Gweyn enjoyed many passions, some of which I can't even name because they are so obscure or quirky that no one could enjoy them like she did. On our first date, after I had dropped her off and walked her to the door I saw something hanging off her keychain. A little green dinosaur. She smiled and told me proudly, 'He's adorable!' without hesitation. I'd become familiar with Yoshis very soon. She loved cute things. She loved things in general. She'd tell me often that she liked best to have me read books to her because that's two or three of her favorite things at the same time. The first was my voice because it was sexy, and soothed her, the second was being read to and on times the third was the book.
"There are so many things I could day about her but then we'd never leave because I'd want to share all the things that made her special. She was so unyieldingly happy and trusting and forgiving. No matter what, she beleived in me despite the dark times in our lives and relationships. I want everyone to remember that lightness she carried in her soul to brighten up our dreary times. I want everyone to remember the enthusiasm she shared for living things, community, and lending a helping hand. And especially that Gweyn would always say, 'It may not feel like it but everything will be all right'. In the end, that's what she would have wanted: for us to not mourn her and rejoice in her life because sooner or later everything will be all right. And I'd like to close with a poem that I can hear her saying. It's Do Not Stand at my Grave by Mary Elizabeth Frye:
"Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
Thank you everyone for coming."
No comments:
Post a Comment